“You’re now one of the ladies,” she said with a smile. Some laughed, while others clapped. It was toward the end of an intensive, and often intense, undergraduate course I taught this semester at the North Carolina Correctional Institution for Women in Raleigh. The course was titled “Internal & Interpersonal Conflict Management,” and was for college credit through the Correctional Education Program at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. 

 

I had 14 students. Actually, I had 14 amazing students, with ages ranging from mid-20s to early 60s. Some were in prison for a few years, while others for a few decades. I often am asked by those on the “outside” what they were in for. Unless they choose to share, I don’t ask. And I don’t ask because it’s not important to me. What’s important to me is whether they choose to step outside their comfort zones, whether they choose to heal. And without a doubt, they did. 

 

We learned and practiced new listening skills, we delved into our relationships with apology and forgiveness, we watched the films Inside Out 2 and The Work, and we built a community that supported one another while each person stepped into their own darkness and came out a stronger, more whole person. We built trust in a place where trust comes in limited quantities, and we created acceptance in a place where loneliness often rules.  

 

I also came out a stronger person and a more equipped facilitator because they allowed me into their world. To say that I’m grateful for their acceptance of me would be an understatement. 

 

The biggest compliment I, a middle-aged white male, could receive within a group of women is to be told I am now “one of the ladies.” I am so very proud to be.